I Bought Textbooks Today

Thought you should know. Life is scary and weird and the future is looming, so I’m going to ignore it and give y’all the promised June recap post before July is over (barely) because I’m trying ever so hard not to totally suck.

Gosh, can I even remember this far back? Summer has gone so unbelievably quickly; it’s ridiculous.

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In June, I officially ‘graduated’. As a homeschooler, I didn’t have a ceremony, but there was a Mass at my parish celebrating the 2014 graduates in which my pastor surprised me with my diploma—and it was super awkward because I wasn’t entirely sure what to do… Oops. (You know me, the epitome of grace and social poise.) (Yeah.)

My friend Rose visited and spent the night after way too many setbacks and frustrations and complications and Avril Lavigne-esque angst emotions. But it happened and it was great. We watched the Gatsby movie, which was the first time I’d seen it, and I still don’t know what to think of it. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t Gatsby to me. I don’t think anything but the book could truly be Gatsby to me. But I did think it managed to somewhat convey the feeling, but in a flashier, cheaper way. Also they paraphrased loads of the book in the voiceovers. Whyyyy would you paraphrase Fitzgerald. It’s like paraphrasing Shakespeare. Don’t do it! Anyway. Rose. She is beautiful and wonderful and hilarious. We went to Target. #bonding

Rose left the morning I started theater camp—I spent a week of twelve to thirteen hour days in rehearsal in order to put on The Music Man at the end of it. I played Zaneeta—for those of you only quasi-familiar with The Music Man, the “Ye Gods” girl. It was an incredible amount of fun and so so exhausting. I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it, or that I was making a big mistake—and I was definitely wary for the first day or so, but it really was such a great experience and I’m glad I got to do theater at least once more before I left.

(Also, I fell asleep during rehearsal so many times; there are about thirty—or, you know, three—photos of me sleeping on different days and it’s ridiculous.)

 

Immediately following theater camp was VBS which I’d rather not talk about because unlike the last years it was totally different and stressful and I was put in a teaching role and I basically winged it and I was so glad when it was over. xD

After VBS I basically kicked about for a week and did nothing until one of my best friends, Philip, flew in from Oxford and spent three weeks with us. He left on Monday and I’m still trying to get used to the house without him in it. I guess it’s good that I’m leaving soon, too, so that I’ll have a lot more to adjust to than his absence and won’t feel so mopey over it. Having him here was really just fantastic—it was the first time we’d met in person, and I was worried that we wouldn’t hit it off well, or that we’d fight, but we got along so perfectly and it was just the best feeling knowing that your friendship has basically been officially validated and that you do truly know this person like you thought you did. We did so so so many things (museums, day trips, sightseeing, loads of swimming, goofing off on the Wii, tennis, the rodeo, meeting up with other friends… absolutely nothing… reading, complaining, cooking…) and yet somehow not enough—so I guess we’ll have to get together again! I miss him a lot, but his visit was worth that.

God is good, friends are good, life is good—even though this particular moment is hard, I know things will get better and I will adjust to the changes I’m going through. I know college will be difficult but it will also be wonderful, and I can’t wait for the new adventures, challenges, and endeavors to come. Thanks for staying with me along the way.

Best wishes,
Hero

P.S. Thanks to Philip, I did eat breakfast nearly every day in July—but I was too busy enjoying the food and the company to take photos! 😉 C’est la vie.

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Changed by Two Weeks

Is it possible to enter into something as one person and to emerge two weeks later a different one? To undergo a metamorphosis as quickly as a monarch butterfly, huddling into a cocoon for fourteen days and emerging something brilliant and different (that eats slightly less)?

I would have said no two weeks ago. (Well, nearly three now.) But then, well…

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It’s hard to come somewhere that looks like this and stay the same. 😉

On July 21st I boarded a plane and flew to Los Angeles for the Thomas Aquinas College Summer Program; I picked up my suitcases (one was full of shoes, don’t judge me) and got on a bus for the college. I remember sitting next to a girl with brilliant red hair and driving through all these mountains and talking about Latin and other random intellectual stuff, and I finally I realized just how amazing it was all going to be. I said to her, “You know, the best part of being here is that everyone here has a passion for learning… Everyone here is different, but we’re united because we all care about knowledge and understanding and everyone here is looking for wisdom. You don’t get that at home; in a normal setting, nobody cares. Here people are going to care.

I wasn’t wrong.

At TAC people wanted to learn. I wasn’t the only one talking in class; with the exception of three or four people, almost everyone in class contributed to discussion. We realized really quickly that the simplest, most seemingly obvious questions were the most profound. Instead of just assuming something as fact, we learned to ask WHY we assumed it. This is most obvious in Euclid, when we didn’t just say, “Well, yeah, obviously two angles on a straight line will equal 180 degrees,” but instead proved this using basic postulates and common notions… but it also came up in Genesis and Macbeth and Oedipus Rex… We had to look inside the text itself to answer our questions; we couldn’t bring in outside theology or trivia. (This happened a lot in Crito. “Well, the Ancient Greeks thought x, y, z…” “I have an idea, why don’t we read what the Ancient Greeks wrote and find out if that’s true rather than just assuming it…”) I got really attached to this quote from Aristotle: “All men by nature desire to know.” It really is true; I frequently give the speech that knowledge is desirable for its own sake… While I was at TAC I realized that I don’t just want to be smart, I want to be wise. There’s such a difference.

Outside of the classroom was amazing too. I went to Mass nearly every day – the first day the Traditional Latin Mass was offered I went for the first time, and I was completely and utterly lost. I was really disappointed because I’d been so excited to finally go and then I didn’t understand any of it. But I determined that I would go every single day I until it clicked… a few days later, it did. I followed along in the missal, realized the priest said a lot of it silently, that it was up to me to stay on track and follow along – and in doing so, I became fully dissolved into the mass. I didn’t check my watch once, and as I was walking out of the chapel I realized that I hadn’t just prayed at Mass… I’d prayed the Mass, by reading all the prayers the priest was saying and so intently following along. It was incredible and beautiful and in that moment I just fell head over heels in love with the TLM. (I fell even MORE in love on Sunday at the High Mass… THE MOST gorgeous thing I’ve ever been to in my entire life.)

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The friendships I forged there were incredible, too. I will treasure these people for the rest of my life. My roommate was so wonderful; she would do my hair in the mornings because I’m completely inept, we’d make sure we were both in dress code, and we’d stay up late talking… She would yank me out of bed in the mornings so I wouldn’t be late for Mass even though she went to the later Mass and didn’t need to be up yet, and she would take a bunch of selfies with me and we’d die laughing over breakfast. I met up with two of my friends who I’d known before through school, and they were wonderful. Aspirer was one (check out her post about TAC; it’s much better than this one and was featured on the blog) and the other was Joe. We hadn’t been super close before the program, but when I met up I basically attacked him with a hug (he’d say it was an attack, pure and simple, but he’s mean to me) and from that point on he became one of my most solid friends. I met my friend Val there because he was with Joe, but he soon became part of our group… such a sweetheart (and so much better at Latin than everyone). The last few days we “forcibly adopted” Anna into our group, and I’m glad we did. She’s literally a character from an Austen novel and so kind.

I met Sepp (he didn’t go to the program, but he came up to campus for a day) and it was fantastic; I actually befriended his older brother, Patrick, who worked on campus and I was surprised at what a good friend he was. He showed up to breakfast every morning the second week to help us with Euclid and would stay and chat all the way until we had to go to class. I never expected to make friends with him, but I’m so glad I did.

I remember on the Thursday night before the last night I was furiously studying Euclid (literally furiously… I was in a terrible mood) in the commons while an impromptu dance practiced went on in the background. Patrick was trying to help me, but I was so cranky I couldn’t get anywhere… eventually Patrick just went, “Come dance, you’ll feel better.” Apparently dancing puts one in a more favorable disposition to do Euclid. Who knew?

There are so many stories that I couldn’t possibly get into them all, but the memories of my sword, jokes about seeing people’s knees, Milk Guy, freezing cold water, Santa-Barabara-but-really-Canada, losing all my lipstick to my coffee mug (and my having coffee at every meal), not getting cancer because of blueberries and dark chocolate (“Okay, THAT is a fiction made up by a WOMAN.”)… Gah. I miss it all so much. At the dance on the last day I basically sobbed my guts out all over my friends in front of everyone. They really are the best huggers and I miss them and their hugs and their voices and their laughter.

Val was the last one I left – our flights were at the same time in the same terminal, so he was the last one I saw before I had to fly away. I wish I could have stayed forever, but all good things must come to an end. I miss my mountains and the gorgeous weather and the Traditional Mass and not having to cook my own meals… 😛 But I still have the memories with me and that’s enough to hold onto.

A friend of mine remarked the other day that TAC changed me. And she did. TAC taught me to seek wisdom above knowledge; taught me to appreciate beauty, truth, friendships, love, time… made me realize what was important and worthwhile and what isn’t. When they told me on the 21st that these would be the best two weeks of my life, I laughed and went, “Sure.” I realized on the last night that they hadn’t been trying to sell me something, they’d been telling the truth.

I’m so glad I went. I’m so glad I had this experience. And I am so so glad to be this butterfly that TAC has turned me into; I’m sure as soon as I stop mourning my departure I’ll be a lot happier than I was before I went. 😉 Thank you, Thomas Aquinas. Thank you for everything.

“All men by nature desire to know.” ~Aristotle

Best wishes,
Hero

 

 

As I Go Headfirst Down the Stairs

In this dimly lit study I drink my coffee and peer creepily at the cars rolling down the street, essentially ignoring all forms of  actual study. To my left are two papal encyclicals (that I’ve finished reading, thank goodness); to my right is another that is as of yet unread, but needs to be by Thursday… In front of me a book of Plato’s Dialogues, Greek Tragedies, and Boethius’ The Consolation of Philosophy, along with my notebooks and my folders for Driver’s Ed.

My elbow rests on my orchestra paperwork, reminding me that I still have four études, a scale, and half a solo (it should be the whole solo, but I’m hopeless) to practice on my cello, who waits patiently upstairs completely surrounded with sheet music.

Amid all this, I write a blog post and blink sullenly with the Beatles blaring in the background. It seems that when I have only a little bit of work to do, I view it as less important and so I put it off. But then when it piles up I stress to the point where I am just drowning in it so I banish it from my mind and don’t do it either.

It’s kind of a lose-lose situation.

[Enter many hours later.]

Oh. Also. I procrastinate on my methods of procrastination. For instance, this blog post! Yeah, I’m basically the worst. I also can’t remember what my original purpose in writing was.

*thinks*

Right. I’m stressed. My mom also does this uncanny thing where she walks in and starts scolding me for not working on something that I’ve actually been working on and freaking out about already. The thing is, I’m very self-regulated, and chances are that by the time you have to nag me to do something, I’ve been guilt-tripping myself over it for hours. I seem to live my life in constant panic mode.

This is something I’ve noticed recently, specifically with cello: I am a hugely tense person. I got a new cello teacher and he frequently does this thing where he looks over and goes, “Just relax your arms! No – no! Relax!” or “You remind me of how I used to be, you keep all your tension right in your jaw… Let it go.” “But I have to tense somewhere!” “No. You don’t.”

*insert feeble excuse here*

Physically, I am tense. I wake up every morning with an aching back because I clench my muscles while I sleep. I can’t just sit still; I’m jittery. I fiddle with everything – I was on a Skype call with my friend Sarah and I realized that within the space of ten minutes I’d pressed all the buttons on my calculator, turned my phone on and off six times, played with my watch, flipped through a book, spun all the buttons on my shirt around both clockwise and counterclockwise, pulled my purity ring off my finger and put it back on more times than I could count… I am physically incapable of relaxing.

I’m the same way emotionally, too. I worry incessantly – about me, what I’m doing, my life, my decisions, my failures, the amount of work I have to do… worry worry worry. I worry about other people – I have a friend who every single time he goes to a party or out at all, really, I spend the entire time wringing my hands and thinking he’s going to end up dead in a ditch or something. I’m serious! It’s constant. If I can worry about it, I will worry about it. It eats me up, my heart basically gets completely wrung out every time someone takes longer than usual to respond to a text message or I have to say something awkward to them or I think they’re upset. I’m basically a mother hen who kind of just herds all her chicks and has a complete aneurysm every time one of them is even vaguely sort of possibly out of sorts. (At art camp they called me Dorm Mom because I immediately fell into the mother position and started snapping at everyone and keeping them in line. I’m “Mumsy” to a number of my friends because I’m such a Mom about EVERYTHING.)

Overall in my life, I am happy. I stress about the work I’m doing, but ultimately I’m doing the work because I love it. Greek philosophy and drama? I’m in love with it. Cello? Same. I worry about myself and my life because I want to make sure I’m doing things that are good and true and beautiful. I worry about my friends because I love them more than life – and surely that’s a good thing?

And my restless leg syndrome is probably due to the excessive amounts of coffee I consume daily and my failure to have a normal sleep schedule. 😉 No one to blame but myself.

Even though sometimes I feel like I’m flailing and falling headfirst down the stairs, ultimately I am having one of the best summers I have ever had, with the best friends I could possibly ask for, doing everything I love, and crossing off item after item on my summer bucket list.

I realized basically two seconds ago while kind of aimlessly staring at my dresser at my favorite photo of me and Essie that failing does not make me a failure; that just because I don’t accomplish every impossible task I set down for myself, I am doing everything I can to the best of my ability, having fun, seeking wisdom, and hopefully growing a bit in the process.

After all, isn’t that what being young is all about? I may be an old biddy at heart, with my affinity for cats and sweaters and completely ancient music, and my tendency to fret endlessly about the people I care about most, and my everpresent grumpiness, but I am me and I am young and because of that I am learning and laughing and loving… and that desire to always seek wisdom, to always be able to laugh at myself and enjoy my life, and my unbridled and unabashed love for my friends and family… that is what’s going to keep me as the most youthful, hip hop & happenin’ old biddy there is for every day of my life.

Thanks for reading & best wishes!
Hero

BEDA Day 31: On Heroism, the Bright Side, and My Rollercoaster that Only Goes Up

It’s the last day of BEDA, so I want to end with a hopeful note: an uplifting closing statement to wrap up my month of daily blogging and, on the grander spectrum, my summer. A lot of things happened to me over the past months – some good, some bad – but I’ve learned from all of them.

I fell in love and then had my heart broken. But you know what? That’s okay. I couldn’t have picked a better person to fall for and I couldn’t have asked for a better way for it to end. It wasn’t in God’s plan for me, and I accept that. It’s taught me a lot about the fragility of things and most importantly, it’s taught me that I have so much more in my life besides relationships and boys and petty fancies. I am out conquering the world: writing novels, becoming the next Yo Yo Ma (ha – I wish), spreading intellectualism in my little ways. I have beautiful friends and happiness surrounding me. I have so much to live for, and even though what happened was painful, and even though it was (is) so important to me, of the life I’m living. An important speck, yes, but a speck. I am going to do so much more in this life of mine, and honestly, I can’t help but smile at the memories. They’re sad memories: but they’re sad because there was so much joy that came before them. And the joy is the important part. That’s what I have to remember.

I learned a lot about my family this summer, too. My family is nuts and crazy and every single one of us is a force to be reckoned with. I’m not sure why it is that God decided that all of us needed to have strong, stubborn personalities, but we do – so we clash. Frequently. But part of being graceful and humble and, well, loving your family, is holding them in a higher esteem than you hold yourself. Deferring to their opinion to avoid a fight. Allowing them to have their way. Not making them feel stupid over something they’ve said. Overcoming my own stubborn, I-am-always-right frame of mind and being a little more subordinate than I would like. I love my family, and they drive me a little less crazy when they’re not all shouting at one another. 😉

Another thing I learned this summer: perseverance and hard work. This came out especially in my cello over the summer. I had auditions and a recital that I had to prep for – I practiced every day for months and months straight, and that stubbornness I mentioned earlier comes out in my inability to give up when I really want something. I work for what I want, even if practicing sucks up all my free time or it’s boring or it’s hard, and I think that was really driven home for me this summer. Nothing ever just falls into your lap. It’s not that easy.

A note on heroism before I move on. This morning I went down to the hospital for my third appointment in my series of can-we-please-take-my-wisdom-teeth-out-already appointments. The operation was scheduled for 9/11 (but it’s been moved — again) (active duty military guys apparently have trump points when it comes to making an appointment, so I’ve been usurped twice), which got me talking to my mom about 9/11. I think sometimes people forget that 9/11 wasn’t just the Twin Towers, but also the Pentagon, and then the one plane where the passengers overcame the terrorists and crashed it into a field to prevent it from hurting anyone else.

I mean, that’s heroism right there.

And then I started thinking about the shootings in Aurora, Colorado – about those men who threw themselves over the women they loved and sacrificed themselves for them. That’s heroism again.

And the way I see it is this: bad stuff happens. We can’t change tragedy. But we can find the best of humanity brought out by the worst. The heroes amid the villains. We can either focus on the bad, or we can celebrate the good. 9/11 was an awful, awful tragedy, but the heroes who saved lives and sacrificed themselves give me hope.  The men who gave their lives to shield others from the spray of bullets – they give me hope. They remind me that even though awful things happen, good shines through the bad. Heroic, beautiful, self-giving acts are brought to the light of day. The clouds part and we remember that in the midst of tragedy and loss and corruption, there is good. And it’s beautiful. Tragic, but beautiful.

Focusing on the bad in life will get you nowhere: you have to look up. Chin up, I always tell my friends who are upset about something. Chin up, feel the sun on your face and remember to look forward. Time goes on. Sometimes it crawls in a petty pace from day to day ( 😉 ), but it is bringing a better tomorrow.

Right now, my tomorrows are looking pretty good. I am riding a roller coaster that only goes up, my friends. I have a dance next week and then orchestra starts up for real, (and at some point I get my wisdom ripped out of my skull, so, yay) and then we move and I get to decorate and lovely things, and this whole while I’m having a fantastic time with school because my classes are so awesome, and then it’s my birthday, and then Halloween, and then there are some other things thrown in there but let’s skip to CHRISTMAS because I love Christmas more than anything… And then New Year’s and prom later on and… Yeah. This school year is gonna be awesome.

I don’t really like this roller coaster metaphor, though, and you know why? Because only going up on a roller coaster means that the whole time, you’re waiting in fear for that moment when it suddenly drops. And honestly, the roller coaster speeding downward is the best part. But the analogy does work in one way: when my roller coaster takes a turn and speeds downward, I’m going to throw my hands up and not let it worry me. After all, it always shoots back up eventually – and I refuse to live my life dreading the point when it’s not awesome anymore.

Who am I kidding. My life is always awesome. 😉 But that’s only because it’s filled with people I love and books and cello and all the things that matter so much to me. So thank you for being in my life and making it awesome. I don’t think I could have made it past the lowest point on my roller coaster without all of you.

Really quickly, before I go and get back to Beowulf… Starting as soon as I finish the Great Gatsby (it’s awesome so far), I’d like to begin a series of critical book analyses (but done in a fun way, of course) where I review the book and point out some things that I liked and try and uncover some of the metaphors and hidden meanings (if there are any to be found — not everything I’m going to read will be a classic, deep book). Here’s a little preview of the books you might see.

Probably not in this order, maybe not all of these, hopefully more (think Dickens, and Verne, and Salinger, and some more of the classics – I have a number of books on hold at the library). Also, if anyone has read The Sound and the Fury, tell me if I should read that one – I’m going to have to clear it with my parents first, but I saw it on our shelves and it looks good and the title is a reference to that Macbeth excerpt I quoted yesterday, so where can it go wrong? 😉

Have a great night all of you – I will write again next Wednesday. I’m taking the weekend off. I think I’ve earned it.

Love & best wishes,
Hero

 

In My World, It’s Sunday

To be fair, it’s technically still the weekend, since it’s Memorial Day. *pwn*

Anyway, here’s the last bio before Camp NaNo starts on Friday. Enjoy! 🙂

Name: Eila

Age: 21

Height: 5’1″

Eye color: Red

Physical appearance: Gaunt, yellowy-white skin, sunken eyes with glittering red irises, chapped, bleeding lips, matted black hair, ragged fingernails, and hands permanently stained blood red. She’s always covered in a layer of filth and scratching and rubbing at her hands, trying to get the blood off. Saliva drips from her mouth.

Strange physical attributes: Um, how about the red eyes and the bloody hands?

Favorite clothing style: Longs for her former wardrobe of gowns and tiaras and luxury, but all she has to wear now is the tattered remnants of what used to be her undershift.

Where does she live? Eildur – in the dungeons of the castle. [Random Tale of Despereaux reference: “To the dungeons! To the dungeons!”]

Defining gestures: Always snarling and muttering to herself, eyes madly darting about, fingers twitching.

Things about her appearance she would most like to change: She doesn’t care – all she wants is a crown on top of her filthy matted hair.

Speaking style: Varies from frantic muttering, growling, screeching like a banshee, and whispering slowly in a smooth, alluring tone.

Pet peeves: Everything. Basically.

Fondest memory: Her former life in the lap of luxury as heir to the throne.

Hobbies: Manipulating people and plotting how to break out of prison. You know. Standard stuff.

Special skills: Magic, for one; manipulation, seduction… She sort of has a lunatic/genius thing going on.

Insecurities: Doesn’t have time for insecurities. (Also, thinks she’s the greatest, ever, so even if she did have time, she wouldn’t have any.)

Quirks/Eccentricities: I think it’s pretty obvious at this point, but to reiterate: the woman has freaking lost her mind. She is a raving lunatic. 

Temperament: Crazy. And evil. Obviously.

Negative traits: …Everything. She’s got serious anger issues, she tries to kill people all the time, she wants to topple society and rule her own little twisted version of the world. Prospect = not good.

Things that upset her: Setbacks, not affecting people the way she wants, not getting what she wants, and people who question/don’t respect her ‘authority.’

Things that embarrass her: Failure and disgrace. [“Honorrrrrr!” *dies*]

This character is highly opinionated about: Herself. And everyone else. And, yeah.

Any phobias: Pure magic.

Things that make her happy: Successful plans, power, and knowing that she has deprived someone of something they’ve deprived her of – she enjoys ‘restoring the balance’, as it were.

Family: The royal family of Eildur. Used to be good and noble rulers (and still are), but have become shells of their former selves since the death of their [SPOIIIIIILER] and the imprisonment of their raving mad daughter.

Deepest darkest secret: This woman is nothing but secrets.

Other people’s opinions of this character: They are afraid of her.

Philosophy of life: I do what I want and get what I want and I dispose of those who get in my way.

Physical health: Pretty bad. Aside from being stark, raving mad, she’s malnourished and weak. A rather inconvenient side effect of prison.

Dream vacation: Anywhere outside of prison… Probably going on a trip to oppress her subjects of Eildur – she would enjoy that.

Description of her house: The castle, down in the jail.

Description of her bedroom: Jail cell. Fleas, rats, straw, stone, rot, and some bars on the window. You get the idea. It’s also an enchanted jail cell – there’s no way out besides death. Once that door is closed, it’s closed forever.

Pets? Yeah. [SPOILER.]

Best thing that has ever happened to this character: She was named heir.

Worst thing: Probably her discovery of magic. It corrupted her.

Three words to describe this character: Stark. Raving. Mad.

Antagonist Questions

Why is she facing off against the protagonist? Caerwyn put her in prison, and she’s the one keeping her there. Eila can hold a judge.

Any likable traits? She is very vulnerable, which isn’t exactly likable, but it shows that she’s human. Unfortunately, she tends to exploit her weakness by using it to inspire pity/sympathy.

Weaknesses: PRIDE.

Note: Eila wasn’t always this crazy and evil – it’s like she’s been possessed, honestly. As a teenager she discovered magic, but because she fueled her magic with pride, it turned to Poisoned Magic and completely corrupted her. She just lost herself to the magic.

On a random side note, I got a job! I work from home on the computer, which is awesome. 🙂 Also, for the first time in weeks I practiced my orchestra audition pieces to my satisfaction… And I still have six days until my audition. If I practice like this every day, I just might make it! I am momentarily not freaking out. Let’s hope it lasts. *deep breaths*

Of course, now that I’m not freaking out about that, I have to find something else to worry about… Namely college. I still have no idea where I’m going/what I’m doing, and since I am now a rising junior, that’s starting to stress me… My mom mentioned the other day that I should consider law – I never liked the idea, BUT I’ve had so many people tell me that I would be a great lawyer, so I won’t rule it out just yet. 😉

Oh – and could you guys please pray for my mom? She has a splitting headache and has been in bed, sick, all day. She’s feeling really crummy. 😦

Thanks!

~Hero

P.S. 

Yes.

Summer Days

Quick post for you guys today – I went out yesterday and took a bunch of pictures of my cello and me on the front lawn, and I really like this one, so I thought I’d share it.

This is just my perfect image of summer: lounging around in the grass with my cello. I am such a nerd.

Happy almost summer!

~Hero

Bonus ‘Hero-Is-Easily-Guilted’ Post

Okay, so I was glancing over today’s post, and it’s kind of boring and it doesn’t really instill the feeling of how awesome prom was, and it sounds really impersonal because I originally wrote it as an article… I just feel bad because I didn’t post on Sunday and so you guy have waited a whole week and I gave you… THIS.

So because I feel really guilty really easily (I’m not kidding – if I beat someone at a board game, I feel bad), I’m going to quickly go over what’s been going on in my life and try to give you something interesting to read. Sound good? Okay.

Yesterday we had our final religion class of the entire year… I didn’t even think I’d be emotional, but the class ended with me crying my eyes out. Granted, I’m a crier, but it’s just that… Augh. You know when you have a class that’s just the best class ever because the teacher is amazing and your classmates are hilarious and awesome, and you look forward to every Tuesday so you can talk to them all and learn a lot and have a great time? That was religion class. And now it’s over – and even though I’m going to request the same teacher for next year, the chances of me getting into another class with all of the same kids and having the same great experience like I did this year are really slim. And it’s just driving the point home: school is almost over, and even though I’m really looking forward to summer, tenth grade has been the best school year I’ve ever had. I made so many new friends, and had so many great experiences, and I learned so much… I’m going to be really sad to see it go. 😦

On a happier note, my dad FINALLY got a job! He retired from the military back in October, and he finally, FINALLY got a job last week! I’m really excited, because this means we’re probably going to buy a house in the Fun Neighborhood soon, and I might get a new cello, and a bunch of awesome things! 😀

I have auditions for this HUGE and Fancy Schmancy youth orchestra here in town at the end of May and I am FREAKING OUT. I’m practicing like a madwoman every day… I absolutely HAVE to nail this audition, or I don’t know what I’ll do. Along the same line, I have my end-of-year concert for my current orchestra on Friday, but I’m not worried – our pieces are easy.

I’ve been feeling sad about my lack of writing recently, and have vowed to get back into the swing of things and get back to my novel. It’s been ages since I’ve sat down and worked on it, and I miss it, honestly. How can I call myself a writer if I don’t ever write? I mean, honestly. Lately I’ve been identifying myself more as a cellist than a writer, which is really sad, because as much as I love my cello and as much as it means to me, I am a writer! It’s my dream, it’s who I am. It’s what I’ve always wanted to be and it’s what I always will be, even if I have my off-months.

I also haven’t worked on my Driver’s Ed at all recently. *shifty eyes* Oops. But I just haven’t had TIME! You guys have to understand how ridiculously busy I’ve been! Stop judging me! *hides from all the judging*

I’m trying to find a picture of my prom dress for you guys, but they all have my face in them (surprise, surprise) and chopping my head off of a photo of myself in prom getup is mildly disconcerting to me.

Let’s see… What else… Ooh. I did my hair like Taylor Swift’s today. 😛

I look like this:

Except I actually look like this:

My hair has gotten long enough to the point that it’s heavy and weighs down the curls… As a result, they’re not really all that bouncy by 9:30 at night. I legitimately DID look like Taylor Swift this morning, though. (I mean, hair-wise. I’ll never be as pretty as Taylor Swift.) I think it’s funny that Julia and I both went the Taylor Swift route today, though, haha. (Great minds think alike, right?)

Oh, and excuse my horrifically short nails. *sigh* The string-musician’s curse.

Anyway. As I mentioned, it IS nine-thirty, so perhaps I should turn in… I’m exhausted thanks to staying up too late on the internet exchanging rapid fire PMs last night… *ahem*

Thanks for being awesome. Don’t forget that today is the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts… If you’re like me and pretend once in a while that Harry Potter is real and that all that stuff actually happened, today is a good day to do it.

I hope you’re all having a lovely week and that this makes up for my incredibly lame former post. I’ll talk to y’all again on Sunday. 🙂

Hero

P.S. I really hope this posts… My computer just decided apropos of nothing to have an aneurysm… WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU, MY BELOVED LAPTOP? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? *falls to knees* WHYYYY? (Or as Landon likes to say: PORQUE???)