In Which I Extol Roald Dahl, Bemoan My Inability to Cook, Fear For My Future Collegiate Existence, and Predict Some Terrible Fanart

And I will do all of these things while eating overcooked broccoli and oddly seasoned ramen yayyyyy.

Why am I eating these less-than-appealing sounding foods? My mom is in Florida (where I am to join her on Tuesday) and so I’m fending for myself food-wise… In my defense, we don’t have a lot of food in the house, since we’re going to be gone for the rest of the month and so there’s no point grocery shopping, but still – my lack of cooking ability/good nutrition judgement has never been clearer. Yesterday I had cheetos for breakfast. Cheetos. Not surprisingly, I haven’t been feeling well, so I decided to have a vegetable for the first time since Mom left, and I slightly overcooked it. As for the ramen, we only have chicken flavor and I’m a vegetarian, so I have to forgo the flavor packet since it contains dried chicken disgustingness. In order to make it taste less bland, I tried (and failed) to season it.

I am going to die in college. You’d think by now I’d be alright cooking on my own (my mom has never been one for organized meals), but sadly, that’s not the case.

The good news is, we don’t have any cheetos left, so I can’t make that poor breakfast decision again.

Anyway.

I wanted to do this post about fanart, since today is the first day of DALEK WEEK (which I will be participating in here on my blog, since I don’t have a deviantArt account). However, I haven’t gotten around to drawing my fanart for today yet (I was working and then I had to run into town to buy a certain undisclosed item for an undisclosed friend [*cough* Tanith] on the undisclosed occasion of her birthday). Because of this, I’m going to save that topic for Wednesday and today I’m going to post about my favorite books from my childhood.

First of all, ANYTHING by Roald Dahl. It really horrifies me that some people have never even heard of Roald Dahl – I mean, everybody knows about Charlie and the Chocolate Factor, but there are people who don’t know who wrote the book and don’t know about the other books he’s written! Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator and The BFG were two of my FAVORITE books as a kid: we had them both on audiobook and I would listen to them every night. It got to the point where I had The Vermicious Knid rhyme from Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator memorized.

For those of you who don’t know what a knid is, here’s the description from Wikipedia:

In their natural form, Vermicious Knids are huge, dark, egg-shaped beings who do not have any teeth, but swallow their victims whole. The Knids are quite at home in the vacuum of space, originating on the planet Vermes, a fictional planet located (as stated in dialogue) 184,270,000,000 miles from Earth (this would place it at 52 times Pluto’s distance). Their one weak point is that they are show-offs; they cannot resist shaping themselves to spell the word “SCRAM” – the only word they know – before they attack. Wonka knows that this interval is ideal for escaping an encounter with the Knids.

According to Willy, numerous sentient alien species have been wiped out by the Knids’ predations. Wonka claims that the only reason humans have escaped this fate is because the Knids – not being heatproof and not possessing retro-rockets – cannot enter Earth’s atmosphere without being burned up by friction. In fact, Wonka says, what humans believe to be shooting stars are really shooting Knids burning up as they enter our the atmosphere.

I just love it. 🙂 This is the rhyme:

Oh you Knid, you are vile and vermicious!
You are slimy and soggy and squishous!
But what do we care
‘Cause you can’t get in here,
So hop it and don’t get ambitious!

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Roald Dahl


Secondly, and I know this sounds totally crazy, but Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne. Maybe it’s a weird book for an eight-year-old to like, but this was another book we had on CD that I used to listen to all the time. I still love the book and I’d really like to try and recreate the trip around the world and hit all the stops and travel by boat and train and the like. That’s a dream of mine. 🙂

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. Enough said. I freaking love Miss Piggle Wiggle. I still like it now, and it’s directed at seven-year-olds. I just love how nonsensical and hilarious it all is.

The Boxcar Children. I loved mysteries, but Nancy Drew always got on my nerves. (She was too perfect – she had zero flaws. Even as a kid I had zero tolerance for two-dimensional characters.) The Boxcar Children were way better – though they had few flaws, too. (I distinctly recall a book in which they have lemonade stand that makes enough money for them to buy bicycles. What?) Later I got into Agatha Christie novels, which were a gazillion times better than Nancy Drew and the Boxcar Children combined, but as a younger kid The Boxcar Children were my bread and butter.

I need to wrap this up and get back to work, but I wanted to mention in passing From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by. E. L. Konigsburg (I loved that book), and most importantly: Harriet the Spy.

Goodness – I wanted to BE Harriet the Spy. She was my idol. Hands down, my most loved book from my childhood.

Expect some awful fanart on Wednesday – I am not an artist, not at all, but I’m going to try. 😛

~Hero

P.S. One cute story before I go: this morning I was mowing the lawn and my brother came running out of the house in his pajamas shouting at me to stop. So I stopped the mower and and asked him what the matter was. It turns out he’d moved a frog from the backyard so the dogs wouldn’t get it, and I was about to mow where he’d put it, so he had to go rescue it. It was adorable. Sure, he’s annoying 99% of the time, but then there’s that 1% when he has to go rescue a little frog from the clutches of the evil lawnmower. It reminds me of how he was when he was little.

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

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8 comments on “In Which I Extol Roald Dahl, Bemoan My Inability to Cook, Fear For My Future Collegiate Existence, and Predict Some Terrible Fanart

  1. Julia Byers says:

    I was an “Animal Ark” and “Little House on the Prairie” kid, myself. I couldn’t stand anything too scary or mysterious, and there HAD to be animals of some sort in the book.

    Lol — my dad STILL does that, with frogs. I’m fine with it, obviously, as a vegetarian, but it takes me by surprise because he’s always the first one to go for the hamburger, yet he’s like the Froggy Crusader or something. He’s always gotta rescue them.

    • Hero says:

      Oh, I read those, too. And I loved the Dear America books – especially the princess ones. I’ll go and reread them and they’ll inspire me to journal again. xD

  2. Destiny Skye says:

    There is nothing weird about an eight year old liking Around The World in 80 Days.
    My little sister (9) loves to listen to Pilgrim’s Progress. And that is kind of weird.

    -D. Skye ❤

  3. elinormarie says:

    I wanted to run away once, like Claudia and Jamie from From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler . But instead of living in the museum, I would have lived in a mall.

    I was a pretty smart kid 🙂 Hahaha… Oh, and Dear America was awesome. Also, The Wizard of Oz books. They were amazing. My mom used to read those books to me when I was little. I still have the collection sitting on my shelf.

    Awesome seeing you this weekend, Hero! I wished we could have talked more, but I was having an emotional breakdown because my little brother kicked my butt in the 200 backstroke. And I started acting crazy O.o Crazier than usual.

    Elinor

  4. Rachel R. says:

    Wow, you really can’t cook. Broccoli is really hard to overcook……….it’s easier to undercook it………………all you need is about 5ish minutes for about 16 oz (or 1 lb) of broccoli, usually about a minute or so more…………………that’s it………….it’s the same with all the veggies……………just a little guidance for the future 😉

    • Hero says:

      Well, I was only cooking a couple of stalks for myself: I stick it in a glass bowl of water with a plate over it and microwave it for two minutes-ish… I only SORT OF overcooked it.

      I NEED A MOTHER’S GUIDANCE. DON’T JUDGE ME.

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