I Bought Textbooks Today

Thought you should know. Life is scary and weird and the future is looming, so I’m going to ignore it and give y’all the promised June recap post before July is over (barely) because I’m trying ever so hard not to totally suck.

Gosh, can I even remember this far back? Summer has gone so unbelievably quickly; it’s ridiculous.

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In June, I officially ‘graduated’. As a homeschooler, I didn’t have a ceremony, but there was a Mass at my parish celebrating the 2014 graduates in which my pastor surprised me with my diploma—and it was super awkward because I wasn’t entirely sure what to do… Oops. (You know me, the epitome of grace and social poise.) (Yeah.)

My friend Rose visited and spent the night after way too many setbacks and frustrations and complications and Avril Lavigne-esque angst emotions. But it happened and it was great. We watched the Gatsby movie, which was the first time I’d seen it, and I still don’t know what to think of it. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t Gatsby to me. I don’t think anything but the book could truly be Gatsby to me. But I did think it managed to somewhat convey the feeling, but in a flashier, cheaper way. Also they paraphrased loads of the book in the voiceovers. Whyyyy would you paraphrase Fitzgerald. It’s like paraphrasing Shakespeare. Don’t do it! Anyway. Rose. She is beautiful and wonderful and hilarious. We went to Target. #bonding

Rose left the morning I started theater camp—I spent a week of twelve to thirteen hour days in rehearsal in order to put on The Music Man at the end of it. I played Zaneeta—for those of you only quasi-familiar with The Music Man, the “Ye Gods” girl. It was an incredible amount of fun and so so exhausting. I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it, or that I was making a big mistake—and I was definitely wary for the first day or so, but it really was such a great experience and I’m glad I got to do theater at least once more before I left.

(Also, I fell asleep during rehearsal so many times; there are about thirty—or, you know, three—photos of me sleeping on different days and it’s ridiculous.)

 

Immediately following theater camp was VBS which I’d rather not talk about because unlike the last years it was totally different and stressful and I was put in a teaching role and I basically winged it and I was so glad when it was over. xD

After VBS I basically kicked about for a week and did nothing until one of my best friends, Philip, flew in from Oxford and spent three weeks with us. He left on Monday and I’m still trying to get used to the house without him in it. I guess it’s good that I’m leaving soon, too, so that I’ll have a lot more to adjust to than his absence and won’t feel so mopey over it. Having him here was really just fantastic—it was the first time we’d met in person, and I was worried that we wouldn’t hit it off well, or that we’d fight, but we got along so perfectly and it was just the best feeling knowing that your friendship has basically been officially validated and that you do truly know this person like you thought you did. We did so so so many things (museums, day trips, sightseeing, loads of swimming, goofing off on the Wii, tennis, the rodeo, meeting up with other friends… absolutely nothing… reading, complaining, cooking…) and yet somehow not enough—so I guess we’ll have to get together again! I miss him a lot, but his visit was worth that.

God is good, friends are good, life is good—even though this particular moment is hard, I know things will get better and I will adjust to the changes I’m going through. I know college will be difficult but it will also be wonderful, and I can’t wait for the new adventures, challenges, and endeavors to come. Thanks for staying with me along the way.

Best wishes,
Hero

P.S. Thanks to Philip, I did eat breakfast nearly every day in July—but I was too busy enjoying the food and the company to take photos! ;) C’est la vie.

July Resolution

Eat Breakfast

I’ll be taking pictures every day so that hopefully by August I can present to y’all 30 days of breakfasts.

I’ve lost ten pounds in a year from not eating well. I’m still a vaguely healthy weight but it’s time to start eating right and taking care of myself again.

June recap post soon.

BW,
Hero

My Back Hurts

Days until I leave for college: 61

Episodes of Battlestar Galactica I have left: 52

Some photos I’m proud of:

photo 1

photo 3

photo 2

Trying to remember how you guys could have possibly missed me when I post useless things like this…

Who’s excited for the World Cup? Go England!

I don’t even know, guys, talk to me. I’m going to post about my summer resolutions soon, I just wanted to touch base and see how y’all are doing. I’m okay, mildly exhausted and a tiny bit stressed, but overall I’m doing well.

/randomjunkpost

Hero

While You Were Sleeping

So I have this idea, and it basically goes as follows: we’re going to pretend I haven’t completely spaced for the last couple of months. Instead, we’ll pretend that you (meaning everyone who isn’t me) has been in a coma, and I’ve had all this really fun stuff going on, like riding around in furniture moving vans and getting snow globes with Florence in them and accidentally falling in love with your brother—wait, that’s a spoiler, but seriously we all saw it coming—and everything else that happens in that Sandra Bullock movie, and I’ve been trying to tell you but I haven’t been able to because you have been in a coma. Which is why there haven’t been any blog posts. Because you have been sleeping.

So that’s settled.

The question now is, what have I been doing while you’ve been sleeping? How have I been spending my time, what memories have I stored up to tell you? And now I’m talking about things that have happened to me and not Sandra Bullock.

Well, first (things first I’m the realest)—no, stop, enough. Starting over: firstly, I graduated! …Technically. I’m not having a ceremony, but I’ve finished my work for the year and my diploma says May 31st, so I think therefore we can say I am a graduate.

[insert some sort of confetti]

Let the uninhibited dorm shopping commence.

Other things that happened:

I got my class schedule for my first semester of college, went into complete and total panic mode, spent an entire day hammering out a four year plan for my degree, decided to drop sociology (which I’d never wanted in the first place), and now I feel better. College is scary, guys—I alternate between feeling excited and like I can’t do it. It’s gotten to the point where I start getting stressed as soon as I start thinking of any reality of college life (i.e. finals), so I just concentrate on the things I need to buy and how amazing my book lists are. The problem with having absolutely massive goals is that there’s so much more self-imposed pressure, and while I know I’ll be able to handle it when I’m actually living it, the thought of it right now just crushes me under a mountain of self-doubt and makes the pre-college jitters incredibly overwhelming. I cannot fail. But I will fail. But I can’t. I’m going to die.

I went to Florida! We go periodically to see my grandparents, and we had an especially great trip this summer because we actually got out and did things and made the most of it… Family is always hard; there is no such thing as a family that isn’t at least sort of dysfunctional, but we had a good time despite the arguments. I am amazing at Mah Jongg, in case anyone was wondering—probably because I’m a hundred years old, but who asked you.

IMG_4489I had my final orchestra concert, got slightly choked up, then realized I wasn’t leaving my conductor just yet since he’s also my cello teacher, and managed to force it down. Still, it’s odd without orchestra… Solo work is great, but I don’t know. I’m itching for August so I can start up again. Though I don’t look forward to chair placement. Can’t you just stick me somewhere without having to listen to me play solo? (Also, somehow I managed to get a little scholarship money with my completely mediocre playing. My college is nice to me.)

Finished 30 Rock. [insert large amounts of sobbing and yells of "MY LIFE IS OVER"]

Then I started Battlestar Galactica, so now I watch copious amounts of that. (Look, I promise I don’t watch as much TV as it sounds like. Or I won’t, anyway, when I have a life. Which I WILL. Soon. At some point. [Somebody please be my friend.])

I read a decent amount of books (if you aren’t following me on Goodreads you are an official loser also I refuse to be blamed for not catering to your laziness because I haven’t updated my 40 books page ugh gosh). I think I liked them all. Kurt Vonnegut is super excellent.

I went on a retreat before my vacation and experienced many emotions, as you do. I don’t really like myself very much, which was a hard realization for me, but I needed to understand that I can’t just fix myself, I have to love myself in the process. And I need to quit being so negative—seriously. It’s been hard, but at the very least I am trying. There’s not much else I can do.

Ummm, what else…

I ate a salad today. I know, health nut over here.

The truth is, guys, my life is not very exciting, as much as I wish it were. And part of why I find it hard to blog is because I feel like I should have something to talk about and I honestly don’t—half my posts feel like cop-outs. I want to be funny and engaging and I love writing here, but it’s difficult when a) I feel like my life is really pathetic and I’m just waiting around like Rapunzel to actually go and do stuff, and b) I’m too ‘busy’ doing completely nothing to think up something to write, and c) I have to battle feelings of inadequacy 90% of the time, and it’s unfun. I’ll do my best to change that. I do honestly want to keep this blog up in college, so don’t think I’m giving up on you. Just forgive me if I disappear every so often. It’s hard to get a grip on this emotional rollercoaster sometimes.

Thankfully I have been making summer plans, so hopefully I will actually have fun stuff to write about in the coming months. For now, I need sleep.

Thanks for sticking around with me, guys. Means a lot.
Hero

Only One Week Left to Register!

Hero:

Just a heads up in case any of my readers are interested in attending Chapter One Con—registration ends in a week!

Originally posted on Chapter One Young Writers Conference:

Hey there! A reminder that registration for the Chapter One Young Writers Conference 2014 closes one week from today, at 11:59 PM central time on Wednesday, June 11th. That means you only have one week left to get in on all the writing tips, workshops, and shenanigans! (During the Saturday sessions, we may just be giving away signed copies of both Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan and Allegiant by Veronica Roth, along with movie posters from Divergent and The Fault In Our Stars to lucky attendees.) (What, who said that?)

Register to attend Ch1Con here.

See you soon!

~Julia

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